Once I have been hired by a couple the first questions I will ask them is who will be paying for the wedding? This may seem like a strange question to ask, but I ask it because it will give me and indication as to whether there are other inputs that I will have to take into consideration.
My grandmother always said that there are two things that will cause conflicts in life; marriage and death. These are the times in your life where so many people want to give you advice on where, what and who should be included.
Without setting expectations these outside influences can cause the couple a lot more stress to an already emotional charged time in their life.
So how you deal with outside inputs?
If you as a couple are paying for the wedding yourselves then you should sit down with both of your parents and explain that since you are paying for the wedding that you will be making the ultimate final decisions about the wedding. Follow it up with while you do welcome their advice. However, adding additional pressure to do things that you as a couple may not want to do is only adding more stress.
When working on the guest list let your parents know that each parent will be allotted a certain number of guests that they can invite, that way they still feel a part of the wedding.
Other friends and family will try to influence what you do, so you need to establish early on that while you do appreciate their advice and ideas, you do have a clear vision of your wedding and would like to stick to that vision.
If your parents are pitching in for part of the wedding, then let them have input into certain aspects. If the money they are providing is for specific pieces of the wedding then let them attend those vendor meetings with you so they are part of the decision the whole way through.
If your parents are paying for the whole wedding, then you have to heed all of their ideas and advice as it is their money that will be making your vision come to reality.
My advice to all of my couples is that your wedding is a reflection of you as a couple; therefore you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. You must do what makes you feel comfortable and complete. My job as your architect is to take your vision and bring it to life.
Until next time happy planning,